Dear Gideon,
In recent days I have been thinking a lot about what it means to have you in our lives. Your arrival has already brought so much joy to your father and me, and we are looking forward to the years ahead of us during which to enjoy watching you discover the world around you. While we often have no idea what we’re doing, you have shown remarkable patience in letting us fumble our way through this experience. For that, we are grateful.
There are many, many, many things I am sure we will screw up as we grow older together, but for now, I wanted to tell you the things I promise to do–and not do– during the time we know each other. I hope all of this makes a difference in your life someday, as well as the therapy fund we’ve started to help you deal with the trauma of numerous bath times.
So here we go:
1. I promise to always love you.
2. I promise to never demand that you love me in return. You did not ask to be brought into this world, and you owe us nothing for having conceived you. Still, I hope you at least feel sorry for us and throw us a bone once in a while by letting us visit you in college.
3. I promise to always be honest with you when you ask me to, and to hold my tongue when you don’t.
4. I promise to respect your decisions, no matter how unconventional they may seem. I may ask you for your rationale, but only so that I may understand you better.
5. I promise to never betray your confidence or your privacy. You are entitled to your secrets, and I will never defeat or humiliate you by taking (or sharing) knowledge that is not mine to begin with.
6. I promise to not try to live my life again through you. If I haven’t pursued any of my dreams it is my fault, not yours, and you are entitled to live your own dreams in the manner that you choose.
7. I promise to always try to make you feel handsome, smart and capable. I will work hard to not make you think you are better than those around you, but I will always treat your self-esteem with care and great respect.
8. I promise to expose you to as many different ways of thinking and living as I can. You are a special human being and you share a planet with many other special human beings. You deserve to know this for yourself.
9. I promise to let you play when you need to, no matter how old you are. And if you ever need a partner to be silly with, you can count on me.
10. I promise to be a parent when you need me to be. My role will change through the years, and I am looking forward to that evolution because I suspect you will make a great friend. Until then, I am happy to take care of you and love you unconditionally.
Con mucho amor para siempre,
Momma
This made me cry. Well said and good for you mom.
Because you want me to sob uncontrollably at work? Are you and S open to adopting an older child?
Holy CRAP does he look like Ray in this picture!
[...] your brother was newborn, I wrote a letter to him that included some promises I thought important to make as a parent. I won’t repeat the same [...]